For the benefit of our non-Nigerian readers, ‘Wahala’ is a common Nigerian slang which was adopted from Hausa language meaning ‘problem’ or ‘trouble’. Now to the gist.
I am a product of Rev./Dr./Engr. (You can pick one or all. That’s totally up to you!) M. D and Evang. M.E. Oisamoje’s Union. Also in this with me are nine others. I know what you must be thinking after doing the maths.
“Ten children from a single mother, what?!!!” In our defense we have a set of twins…lol. Growing up was eventful; sometimes fun and at other times frustrating. Each of my siblings had/have their own wahala but the focus of this write-up is directed at my most eldest sister and how her fashion sense and stunning beauty has been a source of wahala for yours sincerely – me! I am certain you are wondering how. Let me explain.
My sister is downright fashionable! As a kid I used to look up to her and she was my number one critic when it came to dressing and as such had to step up my game. I can attribute my not so bad fashion sense to her. My sister is a doctor (medical doctor not native doctor…hehehe) by day and a businesswoman who deals in the sales of clothes, shoes and accessories every other time(see free advertisement). A direct product of being engaged in the latter is the fact that she has to sell her product by being a live mannequin…lol. Hence she selects a few of her products and when she puts them on, people immediately reserve their take. In addition, it forces the young men at her place of work to wish she was theirs but of course since they know she is very much married, they pester her for a hook-up with any of her younger sisters. That is where I come in (sadly). I am the only unmarried/un-hooked sister she has within reach and inevitably I become the victim.
I know my sister very well. She does not like being pestered and is quick to give my number to these guys with or without my consent. In addition, I think she is very keen on marrying me off just so she can plan a wedding. With the excessive hype she so willing offers them (the pests…lmao) about me they almost always sound excited when they call. Unfortunately, I am almost always not excited but forced to act it.
Please what can I do?
Option A: Run far away.
Option B: Forbid her from making such introductions (like that will work).
Option C: Get my legal counsel to write her (who will be certainly glad to in order to improve her CV) to refrain from such infringement on my human rights.
Option D: Dis-sister her (This seems like the only lasting solution to the problem).